function funny() {
var y = new Date();
var z = y.getUTCDate();

// Start editing after this line.

var one = "The person who agrees with everything you say either isn't listening to you or plans to sell you something. -Bud Holiday"

var two = "The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. -Dolly Parton"

var three = "'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. -Abraham Lincoln"

var four = "We do not attach ourselves lastingly to anything that has not cost us care, labor or longing. -Honore de Balzac, French dramatist"

var five = "When nobody around you measures up, it's time to check your yardstick. -Bill Lemly"

var six = "All good things arrive to them that wait - and don't die in the meantime. -Mark Twain"

var seven = "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. -Groucho Marx"

var eight = "Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without. -Dr. James C. Dobson"

var nine = "Profanity is the effort of a feeble mind to express itself forcefully."

var ten = "All poets are mad. - Robert Burton, The Anatomy of Melancholy"

var eleven = "Every sunrise is a second chance."

var twelve = "There is no such thing as an ordinary day. -Meagan Barry"

var thirteen = "Any child who is anxious to mow the lawn is too young to do so. -Bob Phillips"

var fourteen = "What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset. - Crowfoot, Blackfoot warrior and orator "

var sixteen = "Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything that is beautiful; for beauty is God's handwriting - a wayside sacrament. Welcome it in every fair face, in every fair sky, in every fair flower, and thank God for it as a cup of blessing. - Ralph Waldo Emerson"

var seventeen = "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. -Dylan Thomas"

var eightteen = "Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if he or she were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness, and understanding you can muster, and do so with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again. -Og Mandino "

var nineteen = "The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. -Chinese proverb"

var twenty = "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left,and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.' -Erma Bombeck"

var twentyone = "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. - Douglas Adams"

var twentytwo = "Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box. -Italian Proverb"

var twentythree = "The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. -Laurence J. Peter"

var twentyfour = "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock. -Will Rogers"

var twentyfive = "The person who agrees with everything you say either isn't listening to you or plans to sell you something. -Bud Holiday"

var twentysix = "Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath. - Michael Caine"

var twentyseven = "Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face. -Dave Barry"

var twentyeight = "The first duty of love is to listen. -Paul Tillich"

var twentynine = "To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded. -Ralph Waldo Emerson"

var thirty = "Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. -Mahatma Gandhi"

var thirtyone = "If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? -Stephen Levine"

// Do not change anything after this line !!!!!!!!!!!


if (z == 1) alert(one);
if (z == 2) alert(two);
if (z == 3) alert(three);
if (z == 4) alert(four);
if (z == 5) alert(five);
if (z == 6) alert(six);
if (z == 7) alert(seven);
if (z == 8) alert(eight);
if (z == 9) alert(nine);
if (z == 10) alert(ten);
if (z == 11) alert(eleven);
if (z == 12) alert(twelve);
if (z == 13) alert(thirteen);
if (z == 14) alert(fourteen);
if (z == 15) alert(fifteen);
if (z == 16) alert(sixteen);
if (z == 17) alert(seventeen);
if (z == 18) alert(eightteen);
if (z == 19) alert(nineteen);
if (z == 20) alert(twenty);
if (z == 21) alert(twentyone);
if (z == 22) alert(twentytwo);
if (z == 23) alert(twentythree);
if (z == 24) alert(twentyfour);
if (z == 25) alert(twentyfive);
if (z == 26) alert(twentysix);
if (z == 27) alert(twentyseven);
if (z == 28) alert(twentyeight);
if (z == 29) alert(twentynine);
if (z == 30) alert(thirty);
if (z == 31) alert(thirtyone);
}